The past seems to rear its head every now and then, just when things seem to be sailing so smoothly. Doesn't it always happen that way? Now, pile on some back to back re-occurrences, triggers, and places I must go to due to personal responsibilities .. making an ugly recipe for an emotional response or unhealthy, habitual withdrawal.
NO. Not this time.
I caught myself at that exact point, and acknowledged it.
If this relates to you, then I suggest this.
LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, no matter if the emotions and thoughts are so overpowering, wanting to smash the reflection that is looking back at you. Ask yourself, what are you really feeling? Past shit? PAST... So you bump into people from your past, memories, bitterness, shame ... wanting to retreat, the same habitual response ...
NO. Not this time.
These people are no longer in your life. They have absolutely NO impact upon your life whatsoever. A mere, few seconds of an encounter should be brushed off as swiftly as the wind breezing by. As with everything in life, they come and they go. Don't allow a few seconds of remembrance to harden your heart.
DEAL WITH IT & LET IT GO.
My neighbor made sure she engraved these words into my head, and I will tell you the same.
"DON'T YOU EVER BE ASHAMED OF ANYTHING YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR LIFE!!!
EVER.
OWN IT! DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY!"
She told me to own my past, to own all the craziness, the pain, the humor of it all, and to keep my head held high. Nobody has the authority to make me feel anything without my consent. Nobody has walked in my shoes, and honestly, nobody's opinion holds any value.
Why?
Because that's what makes life LIFE. That's how our journey differs.
Do you have the courage to be your true, authentic self? Who wants to live a life being afraid of who they are? The people that don't get it, the people that gossip and criticize to compensate for their own insecurities, are one out of a billion people that just don't matter! So when you are spending your time thinking about so & so, so & so are living their lives not thinking about you. That's the truth! Therefore, it is not worth suffering over things/ people that are not worth it in the end.
For awhile, it was difficult for me to accept myself. I was always the one that walked into a room and stood out. I was always the the one that shined bright, always laughing, always nicknamed "Smiley". Yet I would encounter the ones who didn't agree. The insecure ones trying to break me, trying to get me to sweat. I was always praised for my work ethic, yet the envious ones wouldn't have any of it. I've had pretty difficult moments, and I did my best to push through it.
What I never realized was that I had something special, something they didn't have. There's a reason why I was the one that stood out. BECAUSE I WAS AUTHENTIC, and I encountered those who were receptive to it.
I was the one that took the path less trekked upon. I was courageous enough to be "different" and be true to who I am and what I'm passionate about. Because they saw I had all the qualities and abilities to go somewhere with it, out of that place where they were stuck, and into my own joy path.
The lesson here is:
KEEP DOING YOU, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS! NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT!
People will try to break you for whatever reason it may be. The important thing is to keep working hard. Keep cultivating those factors necessary to blossom, that will take you to the next level. Expect the challenges to come, so when they arrive, you will be ready.
***If the blind man I encountered today has the courage to ride the train on his own, as he was walking DIRECTLY TOWARD THE TRACKS WITHOUT AN OUNCE OF FEAR (quickly intercepted by me), then we all should have the courage to do the same.
With or without sight, knowing or without knowing what the future lies.***
Move forward and develop yourself. It will be worth it, I promise.
<3
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